It's called globophobia, thank you very much

So recently my up-beat female co-worker decided to redecorate our office. Streamers criss-crossed throughout the room, and moody dark Halloween balloons were taped to each computer moniter. A standard decorating job to celebrate the holiday.
But not to me. As soon as I walked through the door my eyes saw one thing: BALLOONS. They were everywhere. They were taped to my desk. What this some kind of sick joke? I looked around for my sisters, sure that they had told everyone my secret, traveled hundreds of miles, and set this up.
But no, everything was as usual to everyone else.
"Perhaps they won't notice my ghostly palor and deer-in-headlights look the next few days..."
I told myself, having decided to just keep it a secret and hope for the best.
Things rarely work out for the best for me, and so within minutes my editor had grabbed a balloon, began rubbing it, and then threatened to pop it.
It was over. I assumed the fetal position and covered my head, waiting for the inevitable burst of the balloon popping.
It didn't come. What did come was the hilarious laughter as everyone figured out my little secret: I'm terrified of balloons. Yep, it's called globophobia, thank you very much, and I can't help it. Balloons make me squirm, they are like nails on chalkboard, only worse because with balloons you get the anxiety of them popping. But after years of my older sister terrorizing me with balloons, I have a full-blown neurotic fear of those latex bastards.
Thanks to the World Wide Web, I found numerous message boards full of people with the same horrible fear as mine. Apparently, as funny as it is, it's also somewhat common. Globophobics unite!
Can't think of anyone you know whose afraid of balloons? How about Oprah Winfrey? I remember watching her show years ago, feeling sane for the first time because she too, is terrified of balloons. Her entire staff knows not to decorate with balloons if she will be there. And, like the staff in my office, they found out after generously decorating with them.
Fortunately for me, the balloons came down in the office and my co-workers were kinder than I expected. In other words, I wasn't chased around with a balloon and needle like my sister used to do. I think humans might be nicer than I expect...